So it's yet another Friday night at the house and these are the times that I can sit and reflect on all things me and Styx. I am positive that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Torin is in the den watching yet another edition of Sports Center, and everything to do with I would much rather think of my sweet horse than wash another load of clothes...I can get to that later!
So as promised, I am going to write about last September. As hard as it is going to be to try and recall all that I felt when it happened, I am going to do it so you will all know how much it means to me that one day we are going to be able to ride into a dressage arena and win a blue ribbon together.
So lets start at the beginning....Monday September 22, 2008.
Styx and I were post-first show and starting to work on my seat a little more. I had one of my usual Monday afternoon lessons and we decide to put Styx on a lunge line and take my reins from me. Things were going great with that lesson and I was even to the point where I could post his huge trot with my hands out to my sides. I was very pleased with where things were going...but apparently he was not. So as we get going he starts to buck and I sat down on him and hung the hell on! But he bucked and bucked and bucked and bucked some more until I lost both stirrups and the saddle started slipping so I just decided to bail before it got really nasty. I took a little fall, but I was okay. Nothing horrible, you know it just kinda happens when you ride as much as we do. My first fall after 13 years. It almost was like being inducted back into an elite sorority. I could say to all of my peers, "yeah, my horse has bucked me off...so what??" You know, play the "I'm so tough and a really good rider card". Anyway, So I got back on and continued my work. I felt 100% afterwards. Not sore or stiff...nothing. I just knew that I would be sore about 30 minutes following the fall, but I wasn't! Until the next day that is....
Tuesday September 23, 2008
A day that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. I can remember the night before just having a nauseous feeling all night long. It was so weird. I could tell something wasn't right. We had thunderstorms roll through that night and maybe that was what unsettled me, but this was different. I woke up that morning feeling like...well, to be frank, shit. I was sore as all get out from my little fall, I was still nauseated, my head was stuffed up and I felt feverish. ICK!! I did manage to drag in to work, and Torin and I went to Julies Deli for lunch that day. I still didn't feel well as I tried to stomach down the potato soup, but I just felt that if I could get through my day I could go out to the barn, see my boy, and get home into bed ASAP. And that is when I got the text message from Katie. I will never ever forget what it read and where I was when I read it. "The horses got loose last night and Styx was hit by a motorcycle. I'm so sorry. Talking to the cops now." It was almost like an out of body experience...was she joking? "Ha Ha Mary Collin, I bet you wish he had been hit by a motorcycle because he threw you!" I mean lets face it, horse gets hit by a...motorcycle?!? What?? But as I read it and re-read it aloud to Torin it kinda started to sink in. So I called her. I can still hear her terrified voice explaining the situation to me. The horses got out... Styx had been hit...we still haven't found them....we still haven't found them...we still haven't found them....
5 words. Those 5 words are words no horse owner ever wants to hear. Not to mention, Your horse has been hit. That's when everything kinda went blurry for about 30 minutes or so. I vaguely remember calling my boss explaining the situation to him, him telling me to go take care of it, bawling my eyes out hysterically in Torins truck, hyperventilating uncontrollably, and mostly praying for God to take care of him until I found him.
I got in my Yukon and rushed to the barn at an extremely high rate of speed. I can recall passing several police cars on my way out, but to no avail they did not stop me. Thank goodness, because I don't know that I would have stopped or that they would be able to understand a word that came out of my mouth because of the on going hyperventilating.
I met Katie at the barn, and for those of you who do not know Katie she is a very collected person. I haven't seen her ever get very upset, even in a crisis situation. And with what we were presented, I definitely have to give her props for being a calming force for me. Once I got in her car and we were looking for horses it occurred to me that she was freaking out as much as I was. How bad was he? Is he alive? Is he walking? Will he be laying down? How hard could it be to find a huge grey horse in a neighborhood? Thousands of questions...Millions of what ifs...and one big certainty. My horse was hit by a MOTORCYCLE, Mary Collin, its going to be bad no matter what. Get ready for it.
After jetting around the neighborhood for about 20 minutes, someone tells us they had found them grazing in a backyard. So we drive up to where they had been found and I see Legend grazing fine and Spirit grazing...but where was Styx? My horse...my show horse....my best friend. And there he was grazing along with the rest of them. Who knew gray could blend into the scenery so well? We must have driven past this house 100 times!
We parked and grabbed the halters for them and then it occurred to me that I was fixing to get my verdict. Was I really ready for this? Did I want to see how bad it was? Here it is plain and simple. You will get a birds eye view of it. Take a deep breath and hold it together...he is depending on you for his care. As I was walking over to him he looked up at me...not the usual Styx way, but a "Who are you...are you going to hurt me?" way. I could tell he was not being my usual Styx that I could walk up to in the paddock and slip a halter on. As I continued to approach him he went back to grazing and I could get a good look at his body...and it looked fine! I mean he was still standing wasn't he? But what about the other side...what was it going to look like? Was I ready for this? Was there going to be a bone sticking out of the other side? Breathe...Breathe...Breathe....
Then I took my first look at it. All I can remember at first was seeing this red red blood on my perfectly gray horse. I never realized how red blood really is. I mean, I look at blood everyday, doesn't bother me a bit, but I never take the chance to just look at it, you know? But seeing the contrast on that beautiful gray coat was nothing short of gut wrenching. I could consciously feel my gut turn over. Not because of the gore, but because he was mine. This was my horse...my very first horse. That I had only had for 3 months. My instant best friend and my promise of perfect afternoons. My buddy that was going to tackle the dressage world with me! He was mine and here he was ripped wide open for the elements to invade and set up infection. My medical mind went straight to work and I knew we had to get him to a vet NOW. But before the vet came the trailer...he was in some strangers back yard after all. He had to get in a trailer so we could get him to the vet...but before the trailer came the walk. He had to walk to get on the trailer.
This was the moment of truth. Could he put weight on it? If not what do we do from there? I tugged on the lead rope but to no avail...he wasn't budging. Then the water works started...I couldn't help it. He wouldn't walk! I kissed at him and tugged on him, but he just stared back at me with his big dark eyes that seemed to say "I'm not sure what is going on, but I am in a lot of pain." I desperately looked to Katie for help and thank GOD for good friends, she came and took the lead from me and made him walk. He limped on it obviously but at least he was putting weight on it. I could breathe a little easier now, but I wanted to hear from the vet to see what he thought as well.
Trailering this horse is sadly not a fun part of owning him. He is very particular to what he rides in. Its almost like a spoilt rich kid saying "No mother, I will NOT be seen driving some regular run of the mill car. I MUST drive a BMW!" Yes, he has to have the room to move around in the trailer. He must be a tad claustrophobic. Long story short, he got on a stock trailer owned by some very dear friends of the Droske's. If it weren't for them, I am still not sure how he would have gotten to the vet.
The next few days and weeks were a bit touch and go for me. I can remember laying down at night time and silently crying myself to sleep as not to wake Torin. And the dreams...oh the horrible nightmares that I have had where I can see the accident actually happening. After he got to Dr. Morgan and he sewed him up, I was told that most likely he would eventually be okay. The motorcycle had made a nasty gash in his gaskin area where there was some muscle tearing, the cannon bone had a superficial gash in it, and the pastern had a puncture wound (where we learned later from Dr. Lewis in Bossier City) had a bone chip out of it just superior to the ankle joint. Thanks to the beautiful suturing by Dr Morgan, Styx has minimal scarring from the wounds and thanks to the digital radiography at Dr. Lewis and Shwartz in Bossier City we learned that the pastern injury should not cause major problems to the ankle. Worst case scenario, he would have arthritis...so we started him on a joint supplement that day! We are so fortunate to have such talented equine veterinarians in this area. Me and my Styx are thankful for that daily!
So that is our motorcycle story. It is a bit hard to think back and re-live the horror and potential devastation that I knew would be mine, but it is part of our story. All horse lovers can agree that it is a special bond between human and horse, and I really think this pain we went through together cemented the bond that we already had. Yes, some days I hate that horse. With a passion...but don't we all "hate" our best friends every once in a while? I am sure there are days when he really hates me too! :) But those days when I can go out to the barn and bury my face in his neck just to inhale his scent as he turns to gently nudge me in the side with his nose like he is saying "What the heck are you doin? Lets ride already!"...those are the days that I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me too and as much as I love him. That, my friends is what horse ownership is all about. It is about the moments....
So when I can trot him down a center line to X and proudly smile back at the judge, I am going to remember our motorcycle days and just be thankful he is alive. So what if the judge gives me a 55%...at least he is allowing me to sit on his back and ride him. The motorcycle story will just add to the glory and gratification of our first blue ribbon.
My wonderful friends, I hope I have not bored you, but enlightened you. Be thankful for each day in the saddle and take nothing for granted. Relish those wonderful rides, and dream bigger each time in the irons. Keep soft hands, stay positive and halt at X.
So as promised, I am going to write about last September. As hard as it is going to be to try and recall all that I felt when it happened, I am going to do it so you will all know how much it means to me that one day we are going to be able to ride into a dressage arena and win a blue ribbon together.
So lets start at the beginning....Monday September 22, 2008.
Styx and I were post-first show and starting to work on my seat a little more. I had one of my usual Monday afternoon lessons and we decide to put Styx on a lunge line and take my reins from me. Things were going great with that lesson and I was even to the point where I could post his huge trot with my hands out to my sides. I was very pleased with where things were going...but apparently he was not. So as we get going he starts to buck and I sat down on him and hung the hell on! But he bucked and bucked and bucked and bucked some more until I lost both stirrups and the saddle started slipping so I just decided to bail before it got really nasty. I took a little fall, but I was okay. Nothing horrible, you know it just kinda happens when you ride as much as we do. My first fall after 13 years. It almost was like being inducted back into an elite sorority. I could say to all of my peers, "yeah, my horse has bucked me off...so what??" You know, play the "I'm so tough and a really good rider card". Anyway, So I got back on and continued my work. I felt 100% afterwards. Not sore or stiff...nothing. I just knew that I would be sore about 30 minutes following the fall, but I wasn't! Until the next day that is....
Tuesday September 23, 2008
A day that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. I can remember the night before just having a nauseous feeling all night long. It was so weird. I could tell something wasn't right. We had thunderstorms roll through that night and maybe that was what unsettled me, but this was different. I woke up that morning feeling like...well, to be frank, shit. I was sore as all get out from my little fall, I was still nauseated, my head was stuffed up and I felt feverish. ICK!! I did manage to drag in to work, and Torin and I went to Julies Deli for lunch that day. I still didn't feel well as I tried to stomach down the potato soup, but I just felt that if I could get through my day I could go out to the barn, see my boy, and get home into bed ASAP. And that is when I got the text message from Katie. I will never ever forget what it read and where I was when I read it. "The horses got loose last night and Styx was hit by a motorcycle. I'm so sorry. Talking to the cops now." It was almost like an out of body experience...was she joking? "Ha Ha Mary Collin, I bet you wish he had been hit by a motorcycle because he threw you!" I mean lets face it, horse gets hit by a...motorcycle?!? What?? But as I read it and re-read it aloud to Torin it kinda started to sink in. So I called her. I can still hear her terrified voice explaining the situation to me. The horses got out... Styx had been hit...we still haven't found them....we still haven't found them...we still haven't found them....
5 words. Those 5 words are words no horse owner ever wants to hear. Not to mention, Your horse has been hit. That's when everything kinda went blurry for about 30 minutes or so. I vaguely remember calling my boss explaining the situation to him, him telling me to go take care of it, bawling my eyes out hysterically in Torins truck, hyperventilating uncontrollably, and mostly praying for God to take care of him until I found him.
I got in my Yukon and rushed to the barn at an extremely high rate of speed. I can recall passing several police cars on my way out, but to no avail they did not stop me. Thank goodness, because I don't know that I would have stopped or that they would be able to understand a word that came out of my mouth because of the on going hyperventilating.
I met Katie at the barn, and for those of you who do not know Katie she is a very collected person. I haven't seen her ever get very upset, even in a crisis situation. And with what we were presented, I definitely have to give her props for being a calming force for me. Once I got in her car and we were looking for horses it occurred to me that she was freaking out as much as I was. How bad was he? Is he alive? Is he walking? Will he be laying down? How hard could it be to find a huge grey horse in a neighborhood? Thousands of questions...Millions of what ifs...and one big certainty. My horse was hit by a MOTORCYCLE, Mary Collin, its going to be bad no matter what. Get ready for it.
After jetting around the neighborhood for about 20 minutes, someone tells us they had found them grazing in a backyard. So we drive up to where they had been found and I see Legend grazing fine and Spirit grazing...but where was Styx? My horse...my show horse....my best friend. And there he was grazing along with the rest of them. Who knew gray could blend into the scenery so well? We must have driven past this house 100 times!
We parked and grabbed the halters for them and then it occurred to me that I was fixing to get my verdict. Was I really ready for this? Did I want to see how bad it was? Here it is plain and simple. You will get a birds eye view of it. Take a deep breath and hold it together...he is depending on you for his care. As I was walking over to him he looked up at me...not the usual Styx way, but a "Who are you...are you going to hurt me?" way. I could tell he was not being my usual Styx that I could walk up to in the paddock and slip a halter on. As I continued to approach him he went back to grazing and I could get a good look at his body...and it looked fine! I mean he was still standing wasn't he? But what about the other side...what was it going to look like? Was I ready for this? Was there going to be a bone sticking out of the other side? Breathe...Breathe...Breathe....
Then I took my first look at it. All I can remember at first was seeing this red red blood on my perfectly gray horse. I never realized how red blood really is. I mean, I look at blood everyday, doesn't bother me a bit, but I never take the chance to just look at it, you know? But seeing the contrast on that beautiful gray coat was nothing short of gut wrenching. I could consciously feel my gut turn over. Not because of the gore, but because he was mine. This was my horse...my very first horse. That I had only had for 3 months. My instant best friend and my promise of perfect afternoons. My buddy that was going to tackle the dressage world with me! He was mine and here he was ripped wide open for the elements to invade and set up infection. My medical mind went straight to work and I knew we had to get him to a vet NOW. But before the vet came the trailer...he was in some strangers back yard after all. He had to get in a trailer so we could get him to the vet...but before the trailer came the walk. He had to walk to get on the trailer.
This was the moment of truth. Could he put weight on it? If not what do we do from there? I tugged on the lead rope but to no avail...he wasn't budging. Then the water works started...I couldn't help it. He wouldn't walk! I kissed at him and tugged on him, but he just stared back at me with his big dark eyes that seemed to say "I'm not sure what is going on, but I am in a lot of pain." I desperately looked to Katie for help and thank GOD for good friends, she came and took the lead from me and made him walk. He limped on it obviously but at least he was putting weight on it. I could breathe a little easier now, but I wanted to hear from the vet to see what he thought as well.
Trailering this horse is sadly not a fun part of owning him. He is very particular to what he rides in. Its almost like a spoilt rich kid saying "No mother, I will NOT be seen driving some regular run of the mill car. I MUST drive a BMW!" Yes, he has to have the room to move around in the trailer. He must be a tad claustrophobic. Long story short, he got on a stock trailer owned by some very dear friends of the Droske's. If it weren't for them, I am still not sure how he would have gotten to the vet.
The next few days and weeks were a bit touch and go for me. I can remember laying down at night time and silently crying myself to sleep as not to wake Torin. And the dreams...oh the horrible nightmares that I have had where I can see the accident actually happening. After he got to Dr. Morgan and he sewed him up, I was told that most likely he would eventually be okay. The motorcycle had made a nasty gash in his gaskin area where there was some muscle tearing, the cannon bone had a superficial gash in it, and the pastern had a puncture wound (where we learned later from Dr. Lewis in Bossier City) had a bone chip out of it just superior to the ankle joint. Thanks to the beautiful suturing by Dr Morgan, Styx has minimal scarring from the wounds and thanks to the digital radiography at Dr. Lewis and Shwartz in Bossier City we learned that the pastern injury should not cause major problems to the ankle. Worst case scenario, he would have arthritis...so we started him on a joint supplement that day! We are so fortunate to have such talented equine veterinarians in this area. Me and my Styx are thankful for that daily!
So that is our motorcycle story. It is a bit hard to think back and re-live the horror and potential devastation that I knew would be mine, but it is part of our story. All horse lovers can agree that it is a special bond between human and horse, and I really think this pain we went through together cemented the bond that we already had. Yes, some days I hate that horse. With a passion...but don't we all "hate" our best friends every once in a while? I am sure there are days when he really hates me too! :) But those days when I can go out to the barn and bury my face in his neck just to inhale his scent as he turns to gently nudge me in the side with his nose like he is saying "What the heck are you doin? Lets ride already!"...those are the days that I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me too and as much as I love him. That, my friends is what horse ownership is all about. It is about the moments....
So when I can trot him down a center line to X and proudly smile back at the judge, I am going to remember our motorcycle days and just be thankful he is alive. So what if the judge gives me a 55%...at least he is allowing me to sit on his back and ride him. The motorcycle story will just add to the glory and gratification of our first blue ribbon.
My wonderful friends, I hope I have not bored you, but enlightened you. Be thankful for each day in the saddle and take nothing for granted. Relish those wonderful rides, and dream bigger each time in the irons. Keep soft hands, stay positive and halt at X.
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